


love you more than yesterday

by Grave



Category: Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Dramarama, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Dramarama!AU, Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Unprotected Sex, bottom!Wonho, handjobs, slight hints of sub!Wonho, wonho is a horny bottom princess and you can fight me about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 15:29:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grave/pseuds/Grave
Summary: Three years after Wonho has been caught in his illegal time traveling  adventures, he makes it back to the past, hoping to find his future.-On a second look some details have changed. The cracked floor board in the center had been fixed, or maybe it wasn't there yet. There were wall high mirrors added on the right side. On the shelf to the right there were new trophies lined up. His heart sunk as he stepped closer and cautiously started scanning for dates. 2017. 2018. 2019…“It is 2021.”Wonho froze and didn't dare to turn around. Almost six years. He couldn't turn around just yet. His vision was swimming in front of his eyes, his breathing rattled in his chest. He didn't want to cry.-OR*swaggers into the Monsta X fandom 15 minutes (more like...2 years?) late with Starbucks*‘Sup? Someone still interested in some ShowHo porn with feels set in the Dramarama Universe?





	love you more than yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> No, like seriously - I started writing this fic when Dramarama just dropped and it took me until now and seeing Monsta X live to finally manage to wrap it all up! 
> 
> It’s my first Monsta X story and every word is written for my best friend who loves this ship and convinced me to write something for them and more than that - to not give up on this story! 
> 
> I struggled a lot with questions of - is that OOC? (Seriously, how can anyone write those two idiots without everything turning into the slowest 100k+ slow burn one could imagine?) What happens again in Dramarama? Is anyone even still interesting in reading this? 
> 
> Well, the struggle is over and it took too long to not post it - maybe someone draws some joy out of this schmoopy, smut piece!
> 
> **For anyone who wants the FEELS but not the PORN - stop reading after "It only took them 5 and 3 years." - that's still more than half of the ff :)**
> 
> P.S.: I has been a conscious choice to go with their stage names for this!! Because uhh it felt better like this in the context of a Dramarama AU??

It was raining.

That was the first thing Wonho felt - the steady stream of heavy rainfall washing over his face and drenching his hair and clothes within just a couple of seconds. The world was still spinning around him, he still felt like he just stepped off the worst roller coaster ride of his life, nauseous to the point where he didn’t know how he managed not to throw up right where he stood.

_What an irony,_ he thought as he opened his eyes to the world around him. He looked down to his right hand where he still held onto the pathetic garbage that had been his self-made time watch. The glass was cracked and the pieces had just come apart in some places and melted in others. The hands were not even quivering anymore. So this was really the end. This was it. This had been his one way ticket. If he succeeded the materials to repair it and get him back to 2047 weren’t yet invited. Wonho knew that it was a miracle to even make it this far - wherever or rather whenever he was - a complete miracle that he wasn’t just pulled into a million atoms in the fourth dimension - and now he would be stuck for the rest of his time.

Wonho forced himself to concentrate, to fight through the headache that suddenly started hammering away violently and his sore muscles. He didn’t need to look far anyway. Right in front of him was the sign of the familiar dojo. _Place_ was easy. Places were permanent and fixed. Even if a house you were trying to get to in the past wasn’t there anymore or not yet there, the _place _was still there. _Time_ was the difficult part.

At first glance it seemed like nothing had changed. Not in any significant way that he could discern but that didn't need to mean much. He didn't know how exactly to describe the feeling that was settling in his stomach - it was a wild mix of relief, anticipation, anxiety and grief, even though he didn’t even know if he had already lost anything or even worse _someone._

With a perfect, fine-tuned time watch he could have gone exactly to one day after he had last come here, the last time he had seen Shownu. It would have been nearly three years for Wonho but for Shownu it would be like he had barely left, as if nothing had ever been disturbed.

With the crappy thing he had built himself from scratch, he could just fling himself at an approximate _time window_ and only hope to land where he wanted to. He would still consider it lucky - if unlikely - arriving so early that Shownu and him had never met - Wonho, no matter what, was sure - and his confidence usually never went far - they could rebuild what they had. Worst case he would be too late and Shownu would be _gone_ and Wonho would simply be forgotten. Even though it had been a frantic journey to get back here, there had been still enough quiet nights of Wonho just staring at the ceiling with his head running wild with all the worst case scenarios - they came all back now and mixed into a thick lump of anxiety. Resolutely he forced everything down, swallowed, clung to the bit of cautious hope he had, willed the frantic beat of his heart to mean _excitement_ and not _panic_ and went inside the familiar building that had once been a second home for him. Or maybe the first he ever truly had.

The light filtered whitegrey through the wooden blinds into the dojo. Nothing had changed here as well. The same wood panels, the same well-worn floor. As if this place had been perfectly frozen in time, waiting until Wonho would return. Which was ridiculous, of course. But it let the timid flame of hope in his chest flare a little brighter. He regretted dripping on the floor as he wrapped his arms around himself, the cold settling in. The clock on the wall told him nothing more than the time of day. It was only shortly before nine. And it was November 2nd. A Tuesday. Nothing gave the year away so far. Wonho hadn't even realized - or allowed himself to think too much in the last three years - how much he had missed this place. How natural it had been to simply pop in here, extending his stay every time a little longer to the absolute maximum before the Agency would surely pick up his track. Every time Shownu would be already waiting for him, greeting him with a soft smile. If he would have dared to think about it too much - this place, _Shownu - _he would have gone crazy with every minute that had ticked away and kept him in his present.

On a second look some details have changed. The cracked floor board in the center had been fixed, or maybe it wasn't there yet. There were wall high mirrors added on the right side. On the shelf to the right there were new trophies lined up. His heart sunk as he stepped closer and cautiously started scanning for dates. 2017. 2018. 2019…

“It is 2021.”

Wonho froze and didn't dare to turn around. Almost six years. He couldn't turn around just yet. His vision was swimming in front of his eyes, his breathing rattled in his chest. He didn't want to cry. There was no reason to cry. The old wood panels sighed under heavy footsteps until the man standing next to him couldn't be ignored or avoided anymore. Cautiously, slowly Wonho tore his gaze away from the silver trophy he had been studying and looked to the side.

It might have been five years but Shownu still looked the same. His hair might be a little longer than before - but otherwise he was still the same. He looked barely a day older than from when Wonho had last seen him. Quickly Wonho tried to read his face, blinking rapidly to force his eyes to focus - he tried to find any traces of anger, sadness, anything really but as always Shownu was unreadable. He didn’t know what he had expected. Shownu had never been exactly emotional in any way, barely anything could disrupt his stoic calm. It had always been a source of security for Wonho - if the world became too noisy - now it made him even more nervous.

“I’m back”, Wonho got out, his voice and smile hopefully not as shaky as he felt. He was so nervous he felt like vibrating out of his own skin.

“Where or when do you come from?”

“2050.”, he answered reluctantly. Two years less than you.

“What happened?”

Many things had happened. A hearing. A trial. A verdict of two years that was, considering the circumstances of his crime, laughably short thanks to the influence of his mother, head of the police department. Her disappointment he had carried with him since birth and would now take to his grave.

A year of searching far and wide for the famous CHW without success until his stubbornness had brought him to an abandoned apartment and in that apartment he had found notebooks. They were presented on a desk as if they had wanted to be found by Wonho. They were chaotic and confusing but they held the instructions on how to build a time watch. He sold everything he possessed to get enough money to buy all the components he needed for it. He had basically sold his whole life away for a shitty, outdated and held together by a miracle time watch that was now nothing more than a piece of junk in his pocket, to find a way _back_, to get back to Shownu. Betting everything on _this - _this fragile feeling that had bloomed in his heart and grew impossible to ignore over time whenever he would come back to Shownu, this feeling that had been cultivated between kendo practice, walking alongside Han River, eating together, stolen in a time where Wonho actually didn’t belong and shouldn't stay too long.

That feeling that nearly choked him up entirely the longer he just looked at Shownu’s face and those couple centimeters he didn’t dare to breach between them. He had dedicated his life to this, his future, there hadn't been another goal but _this._

It was a long story and Wonho had never been a big storyteller, even though Shownu was a good listener. “I got held up”, was all he could really get out and he knew it wasn't enough. And he wanted to apologise immediately, but he was afraid he would never stop apologising if he started now.

For a split second something dark slipped over Shownu’s face - and Wonho braced himself for the rage he would deserve - but it was gone as soon as it had appeared and suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, at his neck, turning him around to face Shownu completely, pulling him closer until their foreheads touched and Wonho needed to close his eyes. He drew in a deep open mouthed breath, the wet feeling of tears about to fall, in the back of his throat. Wonho’s hands shot out to hold onto the soft warm fabric of the sweater jacket Shownu was wearing.

“I tried to come back as fast as I could. I really tried - I -” It felt important to say and also it gave his mouth something to do instead of searching for Shownu’s. “I'm sorry”, because it needed to be said at least once, it had to be said, it had to be said a million times more -

“I know you did”, Shownu murmured and Wonho was sure that his voice also wavered a bit. “I thought you might not be able to. But I hoped you'd figure something out.”

Wonho laughed; it was merely his nerves bubbling out in the hope to lighten the whole atmosphere. Warm arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. He was by no means a small guy but Shownu had this way of hugging you that fully engulfed you in the best way possible and made you feel tiny and protected. Wonho felt a tension leaving his body he hadn't even been aware he was holding. Wonho melted against Shownu, burying his face in the crook of the other’s neck, using this as a perfect excuse to let a couple of tears he has been fighting back valiantly until now, escape. Shownu still smelled the same - like floral fabric softener and freshly showered, still using the same generic brand of shower gel Wonho remembered. He was as always running a little warm, considering the temperature and that the heating still needed to fire up , it was very welcome. This close Wonho noticed that the other got a more solid chest and shoulders, but might have gotten a little soft around the mid. He wanted to know everything that had happened in the last five - God, _five -_ years but was fully aware it'll take a while until he could coax it out of Shownu completely. 

If Shownu had noticed the tiny wet spot on his shoulder he didn't say a word just as Wonho hadn't said anything when Shownu had only strengthened his hold as Wonho had tried to pull out of the hug the first time. They stayed close, facing each other. The moment dragged on a little. Wonho wanted to see Shownu’s face and take it all in. Shownu took Wonho’s face between his hands, still wet and cold from the rain. Wonho’s eyes involuntarily flicked down to Shownu’s mouth, full bottom lip as inviting as ever. His cheeks grew hot with the thought and even hotter when he noticed how Shownu ever so slightly shifted a bit forward.

Wonho groaned and pressed his eyes closed, in a futile attempt to stop Shownu’s face from slipping in and out of focus. The headache behind his eyes welled up to a new crescendo. He could feel his consciousness slipping from his grasp, like sand gliding out of your fingers and no way to stop it from happening.

They were interrupted from whatever was about to happen by the bell at the front door ringing. A group of children poured into the dojo, happily chattering between themselves and not paying them any attention at first, until Wonho hastily put a good meter of space between them. His face felt too hot and he still was nauseous, but he didn’t really want a gaggle of teenagers seeing them like…like whatever _this _was.

Of course. Time travel aside life would still go on as usual. It was not like he could have announced his arrival and let Shownu make any arrangements.

Shownu shot him a look that Wonho would say was somewhere between apologetic and regretful. “It's my morning class”, he explained before the kids were already bowing and greeting them, shooting curious looks at the stranger in the out-of-time clothes. Wonho hadn't even realized how much he had missed Shownu's goofy smile, the awkwardness he apparently still couldn't grow out of whenever it came to any social interaction even when it was just a bunch of kids, until he saw it again as Shownu dipped his head towards his students and greeted them back. Obediently the little ones went towards the changing rooms in the back, whispering among themselves and nearly breaking their necks to peer at Wonho until it wasn’t possible anymore. If they found anything off or weird that a wet stranger was just dripping on the dojo floor, they didn't say anything.

“I'm sorry - I -” Bashfully Shownu rubbed his neck, but Wonho just shook his head.

“Don't worry about it.”

“Do you want to… join? My last class ends at…6.” Shownu looked conflicted about it, but Wonho understood that he couldn't ask him to cancel all of them on such short notice.

“I’d like that but I can also just … wait? I don't want to disturb your classes.” In an ideal situation he would have arrived at a time when they could just take some time, sit down and talk stuff through - catch up on the respective years they had lost. Wonho would have time to process that his crazy plan had worked, that Shownu was still here like nothing ever happened…but he was not about to start complaining about something like this.

“No! You wouldn't!” Shownu still hadn't let go of his arm and wouldn't even take his hand away as he guided Wonho towards the changing rooms. As if he was afraid that Wonho might slip away again if he just let him out of his sight for a split second.

* * *

Wonho’s hakama and kendo-gi hung still untouched in the locker in the far corner where he last remembered leaving them. He didn't say anything about it and tried not to linger too long, overwhelmed by the warm feeling spreading in his chest. He could sense Shownu shooting him nervous, embarrassed looks from the side. Wonho wondered how many more little signs he would find that Shownu had waited for him to return.

“You are a full time teacher now?”, Wonho asked to lighten the atmosphere that had grown charged as they both tried to avoid looking at each other while they changed. It was good to finally peel out of his wet clothes. He might have not dressed in full kendo gear for a couple of years but the whole process still came naturally to him as he folded the layers over each other.

“I am the owner of the dojo now. I inherited it from my uncle.”

This was always something that Shownu had talked about a little warily, unsure whether he was the type that could be a proper full time teacher and managing a business, unsure if that was even what he wanted to do or if it was just the only thing he ever thought about doing. But now Shownu said it with confidence and without a single trace of regret. Wonho smiled to himself.

“What happened there?”

Wonho flinched when suddenly a hand touched his neck. He regretted it immediately as Shownu drew his hand away, fingers hovering unsure. The short numb pain that had pulsed down his spine had been clue enough to what Shownu exactly meant. The red angry fairly fresh wound he took some time to spray with InstaRecov - a spray not invented yet that sealed and to a certain degree sped up the healing process of wounds - before he slammed the buttons of the time watch. “Ah, don't worry about it.” Sheepishly Wonho ducked away from Shownu’s concerned eyes. He didn't even need to say anything for Wonho to cave in just a moment later. “It… I got a tracking device implanted. They couldn't know where or when I was going. So I needed to cut it out.” If he had done it with any more elegance there might not be a trace left of it, like this he had just jammed a sharp knife into his neck over his bathroom sink - it had been bloody and messy and would leave an x-shaped scar that not even InstaRecov could prevent. It was one of the many darker details of his adventure he would rather like to keep from Shownu.

He could hear Shownu audibly breathe in and already braces himself for more questions. But they didn’t come. Shownu was never one to push a subject, if Wonho wasn't willing to offer. He had appreciated that and he should feel relieved… instead he had hoped for the older to maybe push a little more? Instead he just finished getting ready for class, silence hanging between them heavy.

* * *

Wonho hadn't picked up a Kendo practice sword ever since he last left. His skills were a little rusty, but muscle memory served him right and he quickly found his footing again. Actually it was nice to be in the beginner’s class with the kids and to pick up from there. He was introduced as a friend by Shownu, who would assist him today in teaching.

The day went by faster than he would have initially expected. He had fun, probably for the first time in years. It was frighteningly easy to slip back into his old friendship with Shownu. Under the watchful eyes of the students Wonho needed to be careful to not stare too openly at Shownu, to not let it show too much how his heart fluttered in his chest every time the other came to him to mildly correct his pose or nudge him in friendly comradeship. Just because it felt so nice, Wonho pushed beyond the shaky post time travel constitution of his body.

Before Wonho had been caught, their relationship had slowly but surely changed and shifted, had grown into something more for Wonho - he felt thrown back a bit, nervous and unsure about whether they could just pick up where it left off. By the last class - teenagers around the age of 16, where the girls were very obviously all half in love with Shownu (who could blame them?) - Wonho was exhausted and deeply impressed how Shownu handled it all. He had grown so mature and confident and the qualities of a good leader and teacher shone through more than ever. Wonho had been sitting out the last class entirely, watching from the sidelines, as Shownu went through a more advanced routine. He felt exhausted and warm all over. There was still a small portion of anxiety left in his stomach, but he tried to ignore it as best as possible and focused rather on the simple joy he felt of just being able to _see _Shownu again, to just be here and knowing that he would never have to _miss this again - _it was overwhelming. He couldn't keep the stupid smile off his face as Shownu said goodbye to his last students and didn't even bother to hide it when Shownu came to him, sweaty and flushed and tall and too handsome for his own good. Wonho’s heart grew in his chest three sizes. He worried his bottom lip absentmindedly as he looked up and allowed himself to just think about how much he'd love it if Shownu would lean down and kiss him.

Three years ago he might not have been quite sure what his feelings for Shownu were. It had needed the loss for Wonho to confront the misery he had felt and give it a name.

He had been in love.

And still was. And he hoped that Shownu was too.

* * *

Wonho’s nerves were going crazy as he slowly undressed himself, taking longer to fold the clothes that would need to be washed anyway just to buy him some more time. The tension between them, the air of unspoken things had risen steadily during the day even more and reached now a peak as they were left alone for good.

With every practice fight they had for the entertainment of Shownu’s students, it had felt to Wonho like the distance between them had grown steadily more fragile. There had been too many situations where neither of them necessarily had to press an attack as close and personal as they had done, there had been even more instances of fleeting, casual, searing hot touches than Wonho’s nerves could possibly bear. All the time he had carefully studied Shownu’s face for any sign that Wonho wasn't just imagining things. But Shownu’s face was calm as ever and Wonho could barely tell whether the flush on Shownu’s face was what he hoped for or simply exhaustion. Wonho had come here with the intent that- if he managed this crazy plan - he wouldn't be wasting any more time, so he scraped all his courage together as he dropped his last layer of clothing in the changing room and turned towards Shownu.

_Be bold, c’mon._

Wonho needed to say something immediately before the last shred of courage would leave him. “You coming for a shower?” Wonho was damn lucky that his voice didn’t crack halfway through the sentence. Anxiously he was clinging to the towel Shownu had already brought him into the changing room, trying to restrain the urge to awkwardly cover himself with it. His self-confidence was tiny on his best days, now it was somewhere in the gutter when he tried to meet Shownu’s gaze and pretend like the soft tilt of his head was supposed to be coy and not a poor attempt to hide his embarrassment behind his fringe. He thought he made his intention clear enough now.

He had put his whole life on this card. On that hope for whatever could become of them.

Shownu stared at him for a long time, maybe finally now a little… surprised? Flustered? Confused? Before he abruptly averted his gaze.

“I still…need to clean up a bit. I will shower later in the flat, go ahead.”

It was a different kind of ache, but not too different from the moment his time watch had been ripped from his hands and confiscated right in front of his eyes. Something very important had been taken away from him that moment and Wonho was afraid something similar was happening at the moment. “Oh”, he said, his throat tightening around the sound. “Okay”, he added after a short pause, shame crawling up his neck. Shownu wouldn’t even look at him. Wonho tried his very hardest not to show his disappointment. This didn’t have to mean anything, Wonho told himself, he has a certain routine and needs to take care of stuff and…

Wonho turned the water of the shower so hot that it was already burning his skin as he let his head hang under the spray of water. Still he shivered as everything that had happened tried to catch up with him in high speed. Shownu so far hadn’t even asked how long Wonho was going to stay, just went along with the steps. Maybe it had been outrageous to assume that he could just waltz in here and expect _anything_ at all. What if Shownu didn’t even want him to stay? What if he was just intruding? He hadn’t even thought about that option really. hat would happen if Shownu didn’t want him, would tolerate him for a while and after that Wonho would be gently pushed outside the only place he knew here, into a foreign time, forced to fend for himself - find a flat, get a job, built a life…without Shownu. Wonho clenched his eyes shut and bit his bottom lip until he could taste a bit of blood. How could he have been so stupid? So naive? What did he think? That Shownu would welcome him with open arms, kiss him at the doorstep, let him move in, let him start helping him at the dojo and they would have some cute domestic happily ever after -

_No_ . 

He wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole just yet. Nothing had happened. Don’t interpret too much into nonsense.

He took longer than necessary to shower, towel himself dry - to his surprise he found a new set of clothes on the bench in the changing room - a cozy, warm pair of black sweatpants and a grey hoodie that was even baggy for him, just the way he always liked it.

* * *

If Shownu thought that Wonho had done something weird by inviting him in the shower, he wasn’t showing it. In general he didn’t act any different from how Wonho remembered him - the most emotion he had seen the other show had been at their initial reunion but over the course of the day they have settled back into old habits. In a way it was nice and he was grateful - nothing was ruined yet -, in another way it left Wonho anxious and on edge.

During dinner - kimchi stew Shownu had made two days ago and was only now properly simmered through and tasted amazing - they were mostly sitting in companionable silence, disrupted by some small talk - about the dojo, about some of the more outstanding students of Shownu’s. Shownu never really asked Wonho anything - where he had been, what had happened, how he managed to get back. To be honest, Shownu had never asked him about much concerning Wonho’s life in the future, just accepting everything Wonho had been willing to offer on his own. Which had never been much. There was nothing much to see - he had been never much but a bored, spoiled only child of one of the most well-situated families of the country. Without friends, just acquaintances. Without a goal. Wonho always feared that the most interesting part about him had started when he snuck into the past.

Still the hours of the evening ticked away and Wonho couldn’t find himself being mad or disappointed. Just sitting here, warm and fed, across from Shownu, his hair soft from his own quick shower he had taken while the stew was heating up, just being able to watch him and relearn his face again - was plenty enough to be grateful for, Wonho reminded himself.

“Are you staying the night?”, Shownu asked eventually and Wonho merely nodded. _I am staying forever_, he thought but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Shownu nodded and got up. Wonho shuffled awkwardly behind him, not trying to feel down as Shownu showed him to the guest room.

Unsure Wonho hovered at the door, hoping for anything - for a more intimate word, for a question - anything really that showed that Wonho hadn’t imagined anything three / five years ago. But Shownu just stood in the floor, eyes trained to the side as if he was thinking of things he still needed to do. And then he left Wonho alone.

* * *

The guest room was nothing new for Wonho. He had stayed the night over already multiple times, when they went out to eat dinner somewhere after a long training session and Wonho just couldn't be bothered to zip back to his own timeline.

Wonho had liked the mornings way too much - waking up, going to the kitchen, knowing that Shownu would already be up and waiting for him. It should have been a dead giveaway for himself that his feelings for the others went beyond mere friendship. No one felt so happy and content just watching a friend shuffle through the kitchen, looking like they were still half asleep while squinting through the whole process of making coffee. He had never dared to stay more than one night every once in a while. The longer he was gone the more likely it would be to end up on the radar of the Agency.

With a sigh Wonho flopped down on the bed. Everything felt the same and still it was different. He didn't know what he expected exactly and he had no right to feel disappointment. His chest ached. There was still so much he had wanted to say and yet he got barely anything out. He had been so overwhelmed by just seeing Shownu again and being back that everything else was just so unimportant.

Time. He had time. And now he just needed to show a little more patience.

A knock on the doorframe ripped Wonho away from all gloomy thoughts.

Shownu had returned and was hovering in the entrance of the room as if he was unsure whether he was allowed to enter or not. The only light came from the bedside lamp, it was barely enough to illuminate Shownu’s face properly.

Shownu awkwardly cleared his throat and shifted his weight around. “I didn’t really want to ask. Because I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to hear the answer”, Shownu began slowly, his words were clearly chosen carefully.

Surprised Wonho blinked a couple of times. There hadn’t been necessarily a question asked just yet. And from the way Shownu was now definitely avoiding his eyes it was still unclear whether he was supposed to say something now or not. Wonho waited patiently as Shownu stepped into his room and sat down next to him, close enough that if Wonho shifted only a bit their legs would touch. He was so warm, Wonho needed to stop himself from immediately leaning closer.

“When do you need to leave?”, Shownu eventually got out. It was impossible to ignore how Shownu was being nervous.

_It couldn’t be…_ and yet Wonho couldn’t ignore the obvious.

“I won't”, Wonho immediately answered, turning to face Shownu. His heart was fluttering in his chest but he refused to avoid this conversation when it had been already overdue.

“What does that mean?”

Wonho forced himself not to flinch away from the harsh, impatient tone. Shownu immediately muttered an apology under his breath. There it was. Finally. Probably the only anger he would ever get from Shownu. He could read between the lines - _you have made promises like that before and then you were just gone_. Wonho shouldn’t feel so _relieved_ of all things to finally get glimpses of Shownu’s true feelings.

“I won't ever be going back. I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to.” Not that he would want to. There was _nothing_ there for him. There never really had been. Funny how he had to escape to the past just to get a future for himself. “And they won’t find me anymore.” As if on cue he felt the scar in his neck ache where his chip used to be.

Shownu let out a deep breath - so deep it sounded like it carried all the weight from the last years. “Why would you do that?” Curiously Shownu sounded more upset about this than about anything else so far.

Wonho couldn’t help the amused, nervous laugh escaping him. _Why? _Did that need further explanation? This was the moment though. He could either continue being a coward like he had been all his life or he could be brave and selfish and finally grab for the only thing he had ever wanted. The one thing he had wanted maybe in retrospect from the first moment he sat foot in the dojo and met Shownu and the other had simply accepted this stranger as a sparring partner. The moment Wonho first laid eyes on the gorgeous man in his kendo uniform through the window of the dojo - he had yearned and he came back again and again and again… Until coming to Shownu has slowly turned into coming _home_ . 

“You know why”, Wonho got out but that is the cowardly way again - so he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Because - I missed you - because there was no way I _could not_ \- because… I love you.” As soon as it was out he couldn’t help but smile. Now that it was out there, he didn’t need to carry it along anymore as a secret. Wonho’s nerves were nearly killing him as he dipped his head to the side to study Shownu and to brace himself for all possible outcomes. _Be brave, be brave, be brave._

Instead of reacting with either happiness or irritation, Shownu just stayed still. Wonho didn't know how long it took before Shownu finally, _finally, _turned towards him and met his eyes. “You can never go back?”

Wonho shook his head. The chances he would be found in this timeline were slim and he wasn't worth the resources to be hunted down. His family wouldn't care enough. Whatever he did now would not influence the future. He was perfectly stranded. It would probably take some time until he himself fully understood that. “I won't go back. I cannot go back.”

“So you will stay?”

Wonho couldn’t help but smile, more endeared than annoyed by the repeated assurance Shownu was searching for. He nodded and concentrated on not shaking out of his skin as Shownu slowly, nearly unnoticeable, shifted closer and their arms brushed.

“I was so scared. I wouldn't have known what to do if you would have just left again and I would have to wait and hope again”, Shownu confessed in a low voice as if he was telling a precious secret. That was already more words in one go than Wonho had ever heard from his hyung. “You never promised anything. I had no right to expect anything from you.” With every word Shownu breached the distance between them more and more. Wonho automatically turned towards him, drawn close by an invisible force. A hot shiver ran down his spine when he felt Shownu’s breath ghosting down his cheek and neck. His hands he still kept clutched around the sleeves of his hoodie, unsure what to do with them. Wonho was so glad Shownu was finally saying _something _that he didn't dare to interrupt him.

“You just gave everything up because of me?”

“Yes.” Wonho barley whispered. _But there wasn’t anything to give up,_ he didn’t say. Maybe one day, Wonho would tell Shownu about his past, but now was not the moment. His heart was beating so hard that it nearly hurt. And he would do it all over again. There was a warm, large hand guiding his face over with almost no pressure at all. His eyes were forced to tear away from where they have been focused on an unspecific point on the floor to look Shownu in the eyes just to notice that the other was focusing on something else. “Hyung…”, Wonho started, voice breaking but anything else he might have wanted to say was forgotten the moment Shownu finally, _finally _kissed him.

He had imagined this moment many times, had prayed for this to happen many times and it had been the only hope keeping him sane in his days in solitary confinement. Remembering all those moments he wished Shownu would have kissed him, had been a small source of joy - the hope to come back to him and finally make it a reality had been his sole driving force. Something in his chest unfolded, made him fight back tears all over again, as a desperate little sound escaped him and his hands finally found a purpose in keeping Shownu’s head right where it was, nestled between his palms.

And the best part was that Shownu was just as desperate as he was. All day Wonho had been so insecure, doubting himself and doubting all anew whether or not his feelings were actually reciprocated- Shownu had been so _indifferent, so unreadable_ ever since their brief heartfelt initial reunion that it drove Wonho crazy. But right now he was holding onto him just as forcefully as Wonho was, his fingers almost painfully digging into his scalp as he clung to him like Wonho would disappear into thin air after all. His kiss spoke volumes though and it broke Wonho’s heart just to reassemble it again all over - it was greedy and sad and passionate and regretful and it told a whole story of waiting for Wonho for _years_ \- not knowing whether he was dead or had simply forgotten about him - unable to forget him in return and unable to stop hoping.

“Say it again”, Shownu pleaded in a brief break after he pulled barely enough away to separate their lips. Wonho whined quietly chasing after the other’s mouth, already missing it after having tasted it briefly, Shownu’s words not even registering really. Shownu just let him, groaned with a similar want as he only too willingly deepened the kiss. With an arm around Wonho’s waist Shownu pulled him closer, as he slipped his tongue into Wonho’s mouth, not even so much asking for entrance but taking it. Not that Wonho wasn’t only too willing, immediately addicted to Shownu’s taste on his tongue, consumed by how good it felt to suck on his plump bottom lip. He wanted, he _wanted so much._ First and foremost to be even closer. If he could he would have liked to crawl into the other, instead he needed to content himself with boldly climbing into Shownu’s lap. Shownu made room without hesitation. Wonho was not per se lap-sitting-size but Shownu was big enough himself to accommodate him without a problem. This angle worked much better. Wonho carded his fingers into Shownu’s soft, freshly washed hair, still a bit damp, and dipped Shownu’s head back to just drink everything in the other was willing to give.

He was so happy. _So happy. _Was there a way to die from happiness? At the moment he felt like it. He was back. Shownu was still here. Shownu was here _kissing_ him. It wasn't all for nothing. He didn't even realize that he was crying again until Shownu pulled away to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks with his thumbs. Wonho blinked as he struggled to keep his vision from blurring, a sob rattled through his chest. “I didn't - I didn’t think I would be able to come back -”, Wonho stammered out, it crashed all down on him, it was just too much. “I _missed_ you so much. I thought I lost you - I thought you would hate me. You should be so mad at me! I am so - so sorry- I took so long - I’m sorry - I am so, so, so sorry -” He was being such a baby but he had always been bad at keeping his emotions at bay and much less his tears. He was such a crybaby when there was no reason to cry, but the more he fought against it, the more futile it seemed to be.

“Do you know why I am not mad?” Shownu asked so gently while continuing to rub soothing circles over Wonho’s red cheeks.

“Why?” Wonho really didn’t. Shownu _should_ be mad. Wonho should have talked to him sooner, should have told him that he actually had been doing something _very_ illegal and their time was only borrowed so far. There were so many secrets, so many and Wonho, he realized all of the sudden, had been even so _selfish_ before - he had just come into Shownu’s life and told him only the barest minimum he needed to know, but Shownu also never _asked_ and before Wonho could say something, happy and content in this perfect little bubble in the past, they had caught him and then he could explain nothing anymore - and -

“Tell me again why you came back.” Shownu’s voice was so calm while Wonho was just a mess in his lap at the moment. His fingers had been replaced by his lips as Shownu gently nuzzled his cheek and kissed away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. It was such a sweet gesture that Wonho could only squeeze his eyes shut, embarrassed, shaking his head. “Hyung…”, he whined, he didn’t know what to say anymore.

“Just one more time. Say it.” Shownu insisted, so calmly, so sweetly.

“Because I love you…” At least this was true and Wonho was not afraid to say it out loud anymore. He wanted Shownu to _know_. Shownu’s mouth wandered over his jaw to his throat, where he could probably feel Wonho’s frantic pulse under his mouth.

Shownu took Wonho’s right hand, placing it above where he could feel Shownu’s heartbeat hammering away with insane speed, matching Wonho’s own frantic pace - _showing_ Wonho the physical evidence of what he had a hard time conveying with words or showing on his face. “Same…That's my answer as well. That’s why I can’t be mad.”

Wonho pushed himself a little away again to look at Shownu’s face, nose scrunched because even though he felt like he could die this instant just from pure happiness, he couldn't quite stop from feeling embarrassed and vulnerable from these confessions. He laughed, unbelieving and maybe going a bit crazy right now, his voice cracking with the tears that have finally stopped. He was sure he looked like a snotty mess, not at all attractive but Shownu - to Wonho’s surprise and relief - looked also shaken and embarrassed with a flush on the tip of his ears, and yet Shownu was grinning so much that his eyes were nothing but tiny little arches. Like that they were both just smiling at each other like a pair of complete idiots.

Wonho still needed to giggle while he tried to finally rub his face as dry as possible and calm his heart down to a degree where it wouldn’t break his ribcage.

It only took them 5 and 3 years.

Now it was Wonho's turn to lean down and kiss the goofy grin away from Shownu's face. He could do that now. He would have wished that they could have gotten to this point with less heartache and pain, he still wanted to have the years back that have been unfairly taken away from him. But at the moment he just wanted to finally enjoy what he had waited so long for. Kissing Shownu was new and exciting, but then again they fell into a complimentary rhythm that wasn't unlike how they had so easily clicked in kendo and it felt like they had been doing this forever in the best possible way. While their first kiss had been desperate, Wonho took his time now to explore the other’s mouth, to memorise every little detail - taste, feeling, the little low pleased sounds Shownu didn’t even realize he was making.

Shownu only participated too willingly, allowing Wonho to dictate the pace for now.

Wonho didn't know how long he got lost in the kiss while carding his fingers through Shownu’s hair, until he was startled by Shownu’s hands sneaking under his hoodie. 

From one second to the other he was reminded of what _else _there had been to look forward to. It had become almost an afterthought in the whole emotional turmoil of the day. Now he became very aware of where exactly he was sitting and every inch of Shownu's body pressed against his own. A simple brush of fingertips against bare skin of his hips was already enough to startle a moan out of him and spark a hot coil of _need_ in his lower stomach. _Keep touching, please_, his mind immediately begged. It had been so long since he had felt any physical contact and his body immediately responded to it. Wonho squirmed a bit in Shownu’s lap, regretting it a moment later because he didn’t need such a strong reminder that two thorough make out sessions had left him half hard in his sweatpants. Embarrassed and a little mortified about being so blatantly needy Wonho tried to climb out of Shownu’s lap or at least get some distance again but he was kept there with fingers digging into his hips.

“You should maybe go”, Wonho muttered, unable to look Shownu in the eyes as his face gradually heated up more and more. He'd be lying if he had said he hadn't thought about this _a lot _over the last years, too. He had been lonely and he had a lot of time on his hands. There had been many nights where he drove himself mad with all sorts of improper fantasies of being held down, of how it would feel to have Shownu’s naked body pressed closed, feel him _inside_ of him, be taken like he wanted to be taken, grounded and claimed. It was like his head was giving him a best of of every little fantasy he had come up with - and oh, were they many and some that really could never be said out loud - and Wonho grew increasingly more nervous. 

“What are you saying?”, Shownu asked, a hint of amusement in his voice that made Wonho’s stomach churn even more because it was so stupidly charming. Why did he need to look so handsome now as well?

“I- uhm- _I_\- don't want to pressure you into anything just because I came back and - and - and you might feel obligated and…uh…I - maybe we should better take our time - maybe? - I think it might be - I think it’s proper - take it slow? Maybe? You - you should better go…” Wonho _knew_ he was rambling, his tongue stumbling over his words and the sentence trailed off quieter and quieter towards the end until he could only sigh and stare stubbornly at a random spot in Shownu’s shoulder, just barely refraining from hiding his face in his hands or just hiding entirely under the bed.

“Do you want me to go?” Now the amusement was all too obvious.

_Fuck no_, and that was the _problem_ here. He wanted Shownu to not leave his side for even a second, he wanted him to be even _closer_ . He worried his bottom lip and shook his head.

_I want you to fuck me so badly,_ he thought and was immediately ashamed of himself.

Shownu coaxed him closer again with languid strokes over his back like a skittish cat and Wonho  went along with it a little reluctantly until he settled right back into Shownu’s lap.

“I’ve waited five years to do this.” Every word of Shownu was accented by a kiss placed on his cheek, on his jaw, on his throat. “Even longer than that”, he confessed again so casually, the tone of his voice sounding so sure but Wonho could see the blush creeping on his face. A surprised gasp escaped Wonho when Shownu took his right hand again boldly, stopped bothering with words once more and pushed it between his legs. It was impossible to ignore how the other was hard against his palm through the soft material of his sweatpants. _Oh_ .

Wonho’s lips twitched, desperately trying to keep the stupidest grin off his face when he dared to look at Shownu’s face again and saw that there was most certainly now an unmistakable, very bright red flush spanning from his cheeks to the very tips of his ears.

“Do you - are we clear here?”, Shownu mumbled - not as confident as he might have been just a second ago when he pushed Wonho’s hand in his lap, but still standing his ground and refusing to look away.

“Ah…hyung…”, Wonho sighed, happy to a point that couldn't be considered healthy anymore. They were on the same page. Took them long enough.

Wonho captured Shownu's mouth in a kiss again, pleased beyond belief when the other immediately met him eagerly halfway and the tips of their tongue brushed needily. Bold and still afraid that he might wake up from a fever dream any second now, he gingerly palmed Shownu's gradually hardening cock through his sweatpants. His grin broadened against Shownu’s lips when the other immediately responded with a flinch and a shiver. He could barely stop his hand from shaking in excitement when he first familiarised himself with the shape, before he snug easily under the elastic waistband of Shownu’s sweatpants and they both sighed with tandem surprise - Shownu for obvious reasons and Wonho because he found out the other wasn’t wearing underwear.

Shownu stammered his name and his fingernails digging into Wonho's flanks left a nice burn. He looked very much like an overwhelmed teenager and it was the cutest thing. He had wanted this so badly, more than anything else, to touch Shownu and to make him feel good. An embarrassing amount of fantasies had circled around all the things he could do to him and seeing how long his usual composure would last. Too many casual kendo sessions were spent fantasizing about whether or not he could get away with just pushing Shownu against the next wall, sinking to his knees, unwrapping the layers of clothing and just swallowing his cock down until Shownu came down his throat.

Wonho knew that they might be taking things too fast and they should probably do things a bit more slowly. There were still many things to talk about, _important_ things but just for the moment Wonho had forgotten about all of them. He should be afraid that he might be pushing Shownu into something they might regret later on and they were just now riding in the emotional high - but -

It was really hard to think about anything at all or regret anything, when he finally had his hand wrapped around Shownu’s cock. If Shownu hadn’t been quite there yet, he most certainly hardened completely in Wonho’s hand within just one or two experimental strokes. A little wide-eyed Wonho looked down between them - he wanted, he _needed_ to see as well. The contrast of their different skin tones was even more noticeable - his pale hand, Shownu’s flushed dark cock - _gorgeous_. He could feel his mouth watering, he needed to get his mouth on it - soon, but not now. Now he first wanted to learn him with his hand. His eyes strayed up again, meeting Shownu’s who was staring at him intently,  more than a bit overwhelmed, with his bottom lip between his teeth and a look on his face between constipated and helpless arousal.

_I am doing this to him, _Wonho thought, fascinated and excited, and he hadn’t even been doing much yet. Spurred on by the realization he leaned forward, catching Shownu’s surprised gasp with his mouth and licking obscenely into it as he started to move his hand, working Shownu’s cock with long, purposeful strokes.

His own arousal became a second thought, insignificant compared to how he wanted to make Shownu feel. It delighted him more than anything to test out just the right way Shownu liked to be touched. In every other aspect of life, it had been frustrating to figure the older out and try to decipher the little signs to be able to gauge Shownu’s mood and thought - _here and now though_ Wonho was absolutely delighted about all the tiny responses he could catch and analyse. Every little twitch, shiver and moan was catalogued by him and burned into his memory. How Shownu clung desperately to his lips, allowing them barely any time to catch a breath, how he made such an obvious conscious effort to not trust up into every stroke of Wonho’s hand, the little tremors running through his body - all in all he was also just so much more responsive and apparently hopelessly defenceless against it.

Wonho figured out Shownu liked a strong grip, an unexpected shift of rhythm, when Wonho would follow the length of his shaft with the barest suggestion of fingernails and smearing his thumb over the wet tip of his cock - Wonho figured it all out in no time - he was fast and greedy to learn it all. He drank up every sound coming from Shownu with messy kisses, spit trickling wet between their lips.

Stuck on a constant mantra of the _I wanna make him come so bad, please, I wanna make him feel so good _and so occupied, every sense of him tuned on Shownu, he was caught a bit off guard when Shownu was apparently done with sitting still and pretty. Wonho trembled when Shownu's fingers let loose on their frozen death grip and kept wandering up his flanks, to his chest, raking up the fabric of his shirt, brushing over his nipples. Everywhere he touched was left on fire, made Wonho writhe in his lap and his hand tremble and falter around Shownu’s cock.

Wonho basically mewled into Shownu’s mouth as Shownu circled his thumbs over his nipples again, this time with more purpose, cursing and loving how unusually sensitive he was there and how easily Shownu had found this weakness of his.

“Shit, _Wonho_-” Hearing the other growl his name was good, was really good. He wanted to hear that again and again and _again_\- what did he need to do to make Shownu sound like _that_ again? “Off - I need- _off.”_

Wonho wanted to protest, taking off his shirt meant also needing to let go of Shownu and that would be just the biggest tragedy at the moment, but Shownu suddenly handled him with a single minded straightforwardness - wrangling him out of the shirt and exposing his heated skin to the cool night air. The frantic close intimacy was put on halt for second as Shownu unashamedly stared at the result of his effort. Wonho felt the brief need to cross his arms in front of his chest like an exposed girl, like this was anything Shownu hadn’t seen before on multiple occasions but he managed to keep still. Shownu cursed under his breath, looking a little wild just from being able to look at Wonho, and Wonho shivered as the older leaned forward, pressing his lips to his chest and then just straightforward sinking his teeth into his flesh just underneath his collarbone. It would leave a mark for certain, his pale skin was sensitive like that and that knowledge combined with the sensation made Wonho’s hips buck forward involuntarily. He was hard, painfully so, leaking already - he hadn’t even noticed until now.

_“Hyung.”_, Wonho gasped and shivered as he felt Shownu’s hands - now that his mouth was picking up where they had left off - sliding down, exploring every inch of his chest and back in slow purposeful strokes, until they were resting on the small of his back and then continued their journey further down. At first Wonho was too distracted by Shownu’s mouth licking over the bite mark he had left and then wantonly licking over his left nipple but that didn’t last long as Shownu’s hands slipped down into the back of his sweatpants to rest against the skin of his bare ass. 

_“Fuck_, hyung - I -” Wonho wasn’t sure where the sentence was going when a helpless moan interrupted as Shownu’s squeezed the round cheeks of his butt and Wonho felt every single one of the ten digits. If he’d be lucky that too would leave marks. Shownu appeared to be extremely pleased with himself to get his hands kneading Wonho’s butt. Maybe he hadn't been imagining things back then, when he could have sworn that Shownu was checking him out from behind on more than one occasion.

Maybe this was too fast - maybe they - if Shownu continued like this -

Wonho choked, back curving, when he felt his ass cheeks being spread just before there was a finger brushing against his hole so briefly he could have almost believed it was an accident, if Shownu didn’t continue after a moment of hesitation to idly rub against the tightly puckered ring of muscles in the same rhythm he was tracing his open, wet mouth over Wonho’s chest, his nipple, his throat.

With his hands Shownu pulled Wonho closer, close enough that their still too clothed crotches aligned, both their hardnesses pressing against one another.

If Shownu didn’t stop - right now - than Wonho could promise he would start begging until Shownu _fucked_ him. The teasing suggestion was already enough to make him go weak, arousal cursing hot through every last inch of his body. He wanted so badly - he wanted for so long - he had been so _good_ \- Shownu had to know how _good_ he would be for him -

Wonho could feel Shownu trail his finger along the entire length of his cleft and further where he could feel him brushing against his balls, making his cock twitch and precum leak. “You - you need to stop or -”, Wonho pleaded breathlessly and helplessly in how Shownu just seemed to find all buttons to push with him with ease.

Wonho’s head swam, when with a sudden flip he was shoved onto the bed, the mattress creaking and bouncing underneath their combined weight. Wonho’s heart hammered in his chest, a wave of excitement rushing through him at being so efficiently manhandled by Shownu. He liked that. Very much so. Shownu positioned himself between his legs and stared down at Wonho. Shownu looked _stunning_ above him - his expression was as usual fairly neutral and composed and yet his face was red and something dark and desperate was in his eyes. His chest heaved with a deep breath and his mouth hang open, lips looking even more red and enticing from being abused by Wonho than they usually did anyway. In his dark eyes was an _intensity_ \- if Wonho had doubted that Shownu wanted him, wanted _this, _it was impossible. He could not remember if anyone had ever looked at him like _this_. Wonho’s stomach flipped.

Shownu reached out, stroking with his hand over all of Wonho’s exposed flesh now right in front of him, from his stomach, over his chest and further up. Wonho panted, eyes fluttering closed as Shownu’s hand encircled his throat and pressed ever so gently, like he wanted to test how it feels. It was not enough to seriously cut off Wonho’s breath, but enough for his heart to pick up another pace and his eyes to flutter halfway closed. He could do it - Wonho would let him. Wonho would let him do whatever he wanted to him, Shownu could use him however he pleased -

_“Wonho_”, Shownu groaned, sounding half in awe and half pained as his hand continued his path, tracing his jawline and then his kiss swollen lips. Wonho automatically opened his mouth when Shownu brushed over his bottom lip, playfully nipping on the tip of his thumb.

“I couldn’t have joined you in that shower”, Shownu suddenly said almost too quiet to catch, eyes fixed blatantly on where Wonho’s white teeth sunk into his skin. The words took a bit to trickle through to Wonho’s brain and even then it took what felt like an eternity until he even got what Shownu was on about and remembered how he had stood naked, basically presenting himself, in front of Shownu just a couple hours ago. Good thing he was too preoccupied at the moment to feel properly embarrassed.

“Hmm”, Wonho hoped it sounded like a question or something similar to keep Shownu talking. He liked to hear his voice and he liked how Shownu apparently was more vocal between the sheets than he would have expected. He sucked two of Shownu’s fingers into his mouth, his eyes closing as he pressed his tongue against and between the two digits. Shit, if he could just get one taste of Shownu’s cock he’d come right then and now -

“I would have fucked you right in the shower. Almost forgot how hot - how sexy - _how_ _you_ are.” Shownu’s voice was trembling as he said it. While anyone else saying this would have sounded just sleazy and cheap, Shownu only sounded disarmingly honest. Plain and simple. As if he wanted to get his point across he rutted forward, making Wonho feel him hard and demanding against his ass.

Wonho couldn’t possibly and didn’t even try to hold back the pathetic little whine - reacting too violently to hearing praise from Shownu, meeting the motion of his hips eagerly. He wrapped his legs around Shownu’s hips and pulled him down by the fabric of his shirt - why was he still wearing a shirt? Unfair - that needed to be changed as soon as possible. Already, still with too many layers of clothing between them, the mere suggestion of this position made Wonho even more desperate to simply shove his and Shownu’s sweatpants down and just take him - no matter what an awful and nearly impossible idea that was.

“You could have. I would have let you”, Wonho whispered, not a care in the world of how he must sound as he arched his back and stretched his hands above his head, displaying himself for Shownu shamelessly. “I let you now. Do it now”, Wonho said with more conviction, brave and maybe a little bit stupid with lust. He wanted it, wanted it badly. All reserves of going too fast were thrown completely out of the window - he had wanted this for so long, he had waited for this so long and he was unwilling to keep waiting when he knew they both wanted it. Time was precious and fleeting and could be ripped away from you in a blink of an eye.

One moment you could be standing in the dojo, fiddling with your time watch, looking at the boy you were in love with in the orange light of the setting sun, standing in front of you - your heart fluttering as he smiles at you - a little goofy, but all charming - and you think _tomorrow_, _tomorrow I am going to tell him _like you already planned to do for a couple of weeks now, half excited and half terrified by this still new feeling in your chest - and the next moment you can be pressed to the cold hard floor in handcuffs, someone screaming all crimes they accuse you of in your ear - when all you did, was being in love with a boy just a moment ago. And there was no tomorrow anymore.

Shownu made a tortured sound as he leaned down and captured Wonho’s mouth in another hungry kiss. They were both beyond waiting.

“Ok...okay, yeah, ok - wait.”

Wonho shivered when Shownu pulled away from him - but he was gone and came back so fast that Wonho could barely lament the loss. Wonho couldn't help but laugh as he watched how Shownu quickly got rid of the rest of his clothes in light speed very inelegantly, before he flung himself back on the bed and on top of him. He pulled Wonho into a searing kiss as if already the quick sprint to his - probably bedroom? - two doors down the hall had been too long to bear. But Wonho couldn’t complain, mewling into the wet kiss as he clung to Shownu while the other wrangled him out of his sweatpants, neither helping a bit in the process nor willing to not have his hands on Shownu’s soft tanned skin.

They both sighed with relief as their skin touches - bare, hot and already wet with sweat. It overwhelmed them both for a moment as they leaned their foreheads against each other, simply breathing in and out for a moment so savor their closeness.

Wonho was the first to regain his senses again and with a bit of effort, he wiggled out enough from underneath Shownu to turn around. His heart ran a marathon in his chest - with excitement and nerves and a tiny bit of mortified embarrassment about his own boldness - as he pulled his legs up underneath him, folded his arms under his head and looked over his shoulder at a stunned Shownu, staring at Wonho with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

“Come on, hyung…please…”, he begged softly, biting his bottom lip, before the last shred of bravery would leave him - but he wanted to please Shownu - wanted to be good and pretty for him \- and that desire alongside his own shame made arousal curse through his body in equal measures.

He could only imagine what a sight he presented.

He was certainly successful, hearing Shownu make a sound that sounded this strangled and overwhelmed as his eyes raked over Wonho’s broad shoulders, the curve of his spine and the well trained swell of his ass, presented to him right there like this, so willingly. He looked like he got the present of his dreams on Christmas.

Wonho watched, trembling, as Shownu fumbled for the lube he had so quickly gotten from another room and struggle a bit with the cap, before he managed to squeeze way too much over his right hand.

Wonho’s mouth fell open and his eyes fell shut as Shownu pressed the first finger inside of him, not hurting yet but still a foreign intrusion for now.

He was no stranger to taking fingers - and cock for that matter. Even though it had been…years since he last had proper sex with someone. Before Shownu that had been another story. Boredom and a constant need to be appreciated made you do stupid things. He didn’t want to think about it now, when all he wanted, for the rest of his life, was to be touched by Shownu and only him.

But in between there had been at least enough lonely nights, biting into his pillow - fingering himself desperately and imagining it was Shownu and feeling nothing but lonely afterwards. Now he was finally getting the reality.

Shownu was being almost torturously sweet and gentle about this and Wonho needed to stop himself from begging him to go faster, rougher, that he should just take whatever he wanted and Wonho would be fine with it, that he might even need the feeling of being abused a bit. But he didn't beg, especially not when he looked over his shoulder and saw that cute concentrated look of wonder on Shownu’s face.

Wonho gasped, when a second finger was added and his hips involuntarily stuttered up, pressing Shownu’s fingers in a little faster. His fingers were longer than his, reaching deeper than Wonho could himself and like this they effortlessly brushed over his prostate.

“Hyung- I- ah-”

Spurred on by Wonho’s reaction, Shownu picked up his rhythm a bit, working his fingers in and out, stretching him in the process. Wonho whined, when Shownu curled his fingers just right, pressing against his walls and leaned down over him, placing open mouthed kisses over his shaking shoulder blades, his spine until he sank his teeth lightly into Wonho’s pale neck. Electricity shot down his spine, his fingers curled into the sheets. Shownu bit a little harder and Wonho mewled even louder, pain and pleasure so close to each other, tangled together so much that he couldn't tell the difference anymore.

“A-add another - I can take more - more - hyung - _please_ -” He needed more, he was so desperate for it, rocking his hips back onto Shownu’s hand.

“Wonho, you- you are so-”, Shownu stammered incoherently against his skin, peppering every inch with kisses, but unable to deny Wonho any request andeased a third finger in him. That hurt now. But it's not the kind of hurt that turned him off. Wonho gasped Shownu’s name, repeatedly, clenching his muscles around Shownu’s fingers as they moved shallowly inside him, kneading over his prostate as if Wonho wasn't already close to losing his mind.

He tried to breathe through it, tried to calm down a bit - but it felt like too much already, Shownu so close, fucking him on his fingers - it was - so good - but also -

“Hey, I got you. You're so good for me. So good.” Shownu’s calm voice cut through the fog in Wonho’s head.

Something entirely shattered and Wonho couldn't stop the wet sob coming right from his chest even if he tried. Shownu’s voice was so deep and honey soft, reaching Wonho’s most desperate hidden parts as if he knew exactly all of his secrets and weaknesses. Wonho craned his head back and tugged Shownu into a heated kiss despite the awkward angle, one hand reaching behind himself to grip for Shownu’s cock. “Please, please-”, he kept begging damp against Shownu’s mouth. Wonho stroke his cock gently, feeling and tasting Shownu’s moans vibrating throughout his mouth. Shownu helped him out with shaking fingers to squeeze some more lube over his cock and then held his breath as he let Wonho draw him in and feed his cock into himself.

Wonho’s mouth hung open in a soundless gasp as Shownu pushed the last inch himself. The stretch should hurt and in a way it did, but all Wonho felt was how his heart contracted and expanded with so much joy - so much love - so much affection for this man that he barely registered it. All that mattered was that Shownu was here and this was Shownu on top of him, inside of him and he never wanted anyone else in his life ever again.

He had never felt like this - never knew sex could feel like this -

He could feel how Shownu was shaking above him, how his fingers restlessly wandered over his skin - how he so clearly seemed to be so overwhelmed - just as overwhelmed as Wonho was from being inside him. He was glad that they both needed a moment to catch their breath.

“Are you ok?”, Shownu asked, for the first time there was even a tremor in his voice and it made Wonho’s heart squeeze even harder. Shownu gently stroked through the hair in Wonho’s neck, like he wanted to soothe him, showing so much sweet self-restraint as if Wonho was something fragile.

All Wonho could do was nod, as he drooled on the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, swaying his hips to urge Shownu to move.

And then he finally did and it knocked all air out of his lungs. Shownu started slow, but with every gasp and moan he wrung out of Wonho he gained more confidence. All Wonho could concentrate on was the man on top of him, the man whose moans were making his whole body tingle, the man who looked at him as though he was about to fall apart because of how good Wonho was making him feel. This made him braver and more shameless than he ever expected of himself. He groaned and curved his back, meeting Shownu greedily for every snap of his hips - the wet slap of their skin filling the room alongside their moans and gasps. Shownu was so deep, messing up his insides and making a playground of his senses.

“You can - you can - fuck me however you want - I can take it - for you - _hyung_ -” His ramblings we're interrupted by a sharp gasp and several whimpers as Shownu seemed to go deeper still and picked up in speed and force, managing to continuously abuse his prostate.

“Wonho- ah - Wonho you are so good - why are you so good for me -” Wonho would think afterwards more about how even Shownu started to ramble, suddenly vocalising thoughts he usually kept to himself, and how special that made Wonho feel.

Finally Shownu let go of all restraint and fucked into Wonho earnestly. Wonho could do nothing but cry and gasp anymore - he felt it all up his spine, he felt it in his _teeth_ \- as Shownu’s hips repeatedly collided.

“Wanna see you - let me see you -”

Wonho certainly wasn't a dainty little thing, but it was terrifying and again so super-hot how Shownu just flipped him over like it was nothing. All Wonho could really do was sob with the loss of Shownu’s cock inside him, his hole feeling immediately empty and cold. Tears spilled over uncontrollably as Shownu spread his legs and sank right back into him with one harsh snap of his hips. From there on he continued as if he hadn't even stopped - just as hard, just as fast, just the way that Wonho loved it. Giving it to him so good.

Through the curtain of tears Wonho could barely see Shownu above him - but he could see enough for his heart to hurt, for him to whimper his name desperately and reach out for him needily. So handsome, so perfect - he missed him, he had missed him and he loved him so much so so much - Shownu leaned down, pressed his lips to Wonho’s cheek, to his forehead, to his damp lips.

“Gorgeous”, he murmured against his skin, between every kiss, “so good. So perfect. Love you. Want you to come for me.”

It was all it took really. _Everything for you. Anything. _Wonho gasped, his back arching off the bed and his orgasm hit him so hard, all of the sudden as if it took nothing more than one word from Shownu - completely untouched - and he couldn't even make any more sounds. All he could think about was pulling the older down and burying his face in his neck, biting into his skin.

Shownu groaned and wrapped an arm around the small of Wonho’s back and held him close, not stopping his movements, fucking him through the entirety of his climax until he provoked helpless cries out of Wonho. He felt Shownu waver and stop in his rhythm, but he knew the other hadn't come yet and - no, no that wouldn't do -

He wrapped his legs and arms around him, urging him on even though his whole body tensed and trembled from his orgasm.

“Keep going. Until you come - want you to come - come in me, hyung - come on - keep going -” Wonho had always thought that there was something incredibly sexy about being used to get off and he shivered nearly violently because this was _Shownu _using him like that. He knew he just came, but it felt like if Shownu would just keep coming, he'd come a second time no problem.

The older grunted, pressing his forehead against Wonho’s temple as he continued fucking him just as hard but not as fast, chasing his own release while Wonho urged him on with sweet words, he couldn't even remember afterwards. It didn't take much longer, Wonho could feel Shownu tensing - and he in turn held with one hand onto Shownu’s ass, preventing him from pulling out, keeping him right inside as Wonho felt him come in him, shallowly moving his hips until he spend himself completely.

Shownu collapsed on him almost instantly and Wonho could feel his cheeks hurting with how wide he was grinning, his breath and senses coming back to him, as he lazily stroked up and down Shownu’s back, up to the short hair in the nape of his neck wet with sweat and down again. He kept him close, enjoying the feeling of still being so full of him.

Wonho instantly regretted the loss, when Shownu pulled out for his own comfort, feeling empty and a bit embarrassed by the wetness of Shownu’s come slipping out of him. But that was soon forgotten when Shownu dragged him into his arms, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.

“We should have done that earlier”, Shownu stated out of the blue, after they had just enjoyed their tired afterglow - and Wonho had to muffle a giggle against the older’s chest, then kissed his peck and lay his head back down to listen to his heartbeat. It was ridiculous how he felt like crying _again_ \- he had cried in the dojo, he had cried during sex and now he felt how it welled up again in him as he clung a little closer, just that bit tighter to Shownu. He would have felt more embarrassed by it if Shownu's arm didn't also pull him further in, a little desperate, a little too strongly.

“We can do it now however often we want.” Wonho hoped his voice didn't sound too wet again.

Shownu hummed in agreement.

They would need to get up at some point before properly falling asleep and take a second shower, but not now.

Now he just wanted to lie here for a bit longer and just soak up Shownu’s warmth, the pattern of his breathing, his solid perfect weight underneath him and how they managed to fit together.

He didn't know how long they were dozing in and out of sleep, but it was dark outside, when he heard Shownu ask “Did you search for me… in your time?”

Wonho had. Even though he knew that it would bring him only pain. Their timelines were not far enough apart that it was entirely impossible to find Shownu. He would have been in his 60s or something. But time… was no linear string. He didn't pay enough attention in school to know all the details of the multiverse theory but he knew that the Shownu he'd find in his time, wasn't the same as the one he left behind. The moment he stepped into the past, they hadn't shared the same future anymore.

The details of time travel hurt his head. There was a reason why it was banned. It wouldn't necessarily cause mayhem in one future - a butterfly wouldn't turn into a storm and all that - but it had the potential to mess things up.

As a kid he found it fascinating. The idea of an infinite amount of universes, where everything was possible and everything that can happen would happen. Depending on his mood, even as an adult - Wonho had liked to think about the good ones - the ones where he was never caught, the ones where he confessed his feelings and stayed with Shownu right away, the ones where they had never been separated, where they already had years with each other. And in other times - he had thought about the ones where he was never able to return, where they'd keep him in prison forever, where he got catapulted at the complete wrong end of time, where he died or even worse Shownu…

In his time, he had found the street where the dojo has been but it wasn't there anymore, replaced by a big shopping mall for electronics and then… he had been too afraid to search any further than that. He wasn't sure what would have scared him more - finding a Shownu that didn't know him, maybe married, maybe happy, maybe with kids and grandkids even _or _if Shownu had been already gone, or had never been there to begin with…

Because everything would be too complicated to explain - Wonho simply shook his head. Maybe one day, he could talk about it all.

Shownu - because he was Shownu - accepted the none answer, never stopping in the lazy patterns he was drawing on Wonho’s skin. “It doesn't matter. Now you are here.”

Wonho smiled. It was true. He was here. And they had time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed it - comments are always appreciated :) 
> 
> You can fight me on tumblr (@graveformydarling) and tumblr (@grave4mydarling) where I am usually stuck these days between kpop (GOT7, Monsta X, occasional BTS - will now, that this beast is done, start properly working on my epic East Asian Fantasy/Magic AU for GOT7!) and BL dramas. Drop by!


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